Let’s Watch Fate Zero, Episode 5

FUCK YEAH RIDER

Everyone is in various states of D: and as they had not prepared for this eventuality at all.

Waver is all like “OMG NO WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?” With good reason, since standard procedure (as Lancer and Saber demonstrated earlier) is to hide your Servant’s identity so their weaknesses could not be used against them. Before Waver can continue to protest though, Rider silences him with the Man-Flick, then like a good head of state begins aggressive negotiations. Specifically, that Saber and Lancer surrender the grail to him, and then become his bannermen as he continues on his quest to rule the world. The sheer audacity of the request…Rider, never change. Lancer quietly notes a disinclination to acquiesce, while Saber notes that 1. asking her to stop her duel is insulting to a knight and 2. as a king herself, she would never bend the knee to a foreign monarch. Britons, after all, never shall be slaves, and Cambria cannae yield.

Thus Rules Britannia!

Kiritsugu’s watching from his sniper perch, and he has Waver in his sights. Oh jeez, is he gonna shoot a little boy? Don’t do it Kiritsugu, Rider is too awesome to be taken out of the game this early, but suddenly…a wild Malfoy appears! The seventh Master’s identity is now revealed, as Kayneth Archibald El-Melloi enters the field, noting with amusement that it was the student he had dismissed for his silly little “work > bloodline” theory who stole his original summoning artifact, and closing with obligatory jerkass snark about how he will put the little mudlood in his place. Waver is frightened, as in literally shaking and sweating, but fortunately for him, his Servant is the Bro-Rider who proceeds to call El-Melloi out for being too much of a pussy to join everyone else on the battlefield, whereas Waver at least has the balls to be riding in Iskander’s chariot (even if it was Rider who picked him up and stuffed him in the passenger seat). Being a fair and just king, he then calls out everyone else who was hiding from the shadows.

NO KIRITSUGU DON’T DO IT

Cut to Tohsaka Mansion. Tokiomi Tohsaka isn’t amused by the smear to his honor (yeah, the honor of giving up your daughter to be raped by parasitic mana worms, jerkface). And so, a wild Gilgamesh appears! And now he is engaging in who’s the better king one-up-manship. Between Arturia, King of Knights (Arthurian legend being pretty much the codex exemplar of chivalry), Iskander, King of Conquerors (having conquered most of the known world in his lifetime, although this now makes me want a 1st-3rd Holy Grail War where someone summons Genghis Khan as an Archer or a Rider. I mean, srsly, look at this.), and Gilgamesh, King of Heroes (The Epic of Gilgamesh being the Ur-example of the mythological hero’s journey). Right away the personalities become clear, between Saber, the knight who fights to defend those who cannot defend themselves, Rider, the conqueror who believes in honorable combat on the field along with might makes right, and Archer, who is not only unimpressed by Saber and Rider’s pedigrees, considering himself leagues above any one of them, because he is the hipster hero who was a myth hero before myth heroes were cool.

So all of you are heroes from ancient mythology? Sorry, ancient myths are too mainstream for me.

Oh Gilgamesh, so arrogant. Never change.

Cut to a thin hooded guy in an alley – oh shit, Kariya? He’s here too? OH FUCK IT’S BERZERKER. There are now five fucking Servants on the field, along with Assassin who’s watching.

What is this i don’t even –

NONE SHALL PASS

Waver tries a combat scan, but apparently Kariya’s enchanted Berzerker such that his stats and identity are completely obscured. Gilgamesh continues to be unimpressed by this “mad dog,” until he has the temerity to look Gil in the eye, at which point Gil decides to give Berzerker the Old Yeller treatment and launches a couple of weapons from his armory at him, using the same Noble Phantasm that killed Assassin (as far as everyone knows, anyway).

Time to put you down like the Bull of Heaven.

What follows is another excellent contrast to the previous series. In Fate/Stay Night, while it was possible to summon Hercules as a Saber class, Ilya von Einzbern summoned him as a Berzerker to max out his STR and CON stats. This also gave the Twelve Labors as his Noble Phantasm, which gave him twelve lives. F/SN’s Berzerker would launch himself at an enemy and smash until it was dead. Fate Zero’s Berzerker, on the other hand, shows himself to be high in DEX as well, snatching a sword out of the air and using it to deflect the other weapons in the blink of an eye.

I may be crazy, but I do know karate.

This also has the effect of making Gilgamesh has lost his cool completely at the thought of such a base creature dirtying his precious weapons with his peasant hands. The Gate of Babylon opens wider, and more weapons come flying out, but Berzerker gives a repeat performance. Sword, spear, ax, shield, he seems equally proficient with with every weapon despite being batshit insane. The animation here is also quite good, and although the CGI-ness of Berzerker’s character clashes a bit with the hand-drawn-ness of everyone else, it also kind of somewhat works to highlight how being summoned as a Berzerker makes you a warped, almost artificial version of whichever heroic spirit you were in life.

Impressed? No. ENRAGED? YES.

Yet again, the Gate of Babylon opens, super wide this time, like a friggin football field covered in legendary weapons waiting to be unleashed.

Each one of those dots is someone else’s Noble Phantasm. So. Ovepowered.

Tohsaka doesn’t like this constant use of the Noble Phantasm however, considering it to be too much of a risk of others learning his identity (as happened with Lancer). He uses one of the Command Spells and call Gilgamesh back, much to Gil’s chagrin. “You dare order a king around?” he rages. And since we know Gilgamesh is now pissed at Tohsaka, and we know that both he and Kirei survive into FSN…I foresee a rocky relationship for Team Archer. Better hold on to those Command Spells…

One down, four left. The combatants appraise each other. Suddenly, as Berzerker locks eyes with Saber, he flips the fuck out, picks up a broken light pole, and attacks Saber with it. The ad hoc weapon begins to glow and warp in his hands. Apparently everything he wields becomes his Noble Phantasm, and that, coupled with his natural speed, strength, and ferocity, plus Saber’s old injuries, puts him at an advantage. He sets aside her sword, and there is a slow-mo shot of his light pole about to dash her brains out…

“I’M INVINCIBLE!” “You’re a loony.” “IKNOWEPUJGOAJDSGAHFIGAHGLOIAJFA”

…but Lancer intervenes, claiming he’s already claimed the duel with her. El-Melloi does not agree, saying this was the best chance to eliminate Saber (who is generally considered the strongest Servant class, all else being equal). Lancer (who was quite the ladies’ man in his day) begs his Master to let him help Saber, his voice quavering as he pleads upon his honor and chivalry as Diarmuid Ua Duibhne. And looking back, I think I see what Lancer is getting at here. Previously, only Saber knew his identity, and possibly Rider, but depending on when the others showed up it is possible that they had not seen Lancer’s Noble Phantasm (Assassin would have, but as far as anyone other than Kiritsugu knew, Assassin is out of the game, so he doesn’t count). And so, Lancer probably guessed that his Master would try to get him to kill Saber to preserve his identity, and pre-empted that by announcing it to everyone.

Unfortunately, El-Melloi just uses a command spell to make him help Berzerker. Wow. That was…somewhat of a dick move. And…also unnecessary? If he wanted to eliminate a Servant, he could have just let Berzerker and Saber fight it out and then pick off whoever remained. Sure, there was Rider to consider, but Lancer being the fastest class pretty much guarantees a first hit. Then again, there’s no better time to kick someone like when they’re down. Alternately, he feels like since he and Lancer started the fight, he should be the one to finish? Although judging by how his lines indicate El-Melloi has no use fr Lancer’s worthy-opponent ramblings, it’s almost certainly the former.

Isn’t it sad, Diarmuid?

Either way, Lancer can’t resist, as going against a command spell makes a Servants stats permanently drop by a rank. As the two walk ominously towards Saber, Kiritsugu and Maiya search for Lancer’s master. He has El-Melloi in his sights, but Rider seems to sense it, and right when Kiritsugu is about to fire, a wild Rider appears!

This is not a dri-i-i-ive by

Iskander continues to call out El-Melloi for being a big giant pussy hiding behind his bloodlines, announcing that if he and Lancer do not retreat, and if he continues to sully Lancer’s honor by making him double team a wounded woman warrior, he will ally with Saber and beat the crap out of both of them. Now that force concentration is no longer in his favor, El-Melloi leaves.

Crisis averted, Rider departs as well, after offering Saber advice – finish her duel with Lancer first, so the cursed wound can be lifted. Once that happens, he hopes to have a nice fulfilling battle with whoever remains. Such a bro, that Rider.

Cut to continued bramance (to borrow a friend’s terminology) between Saber and Irisviel. The two women are nothing but supportive for each other, and I have nothing but all the love for this dynamic they have. Having to grown adult women converse with each other as peers and equals with respect and admiration for the other’s attributes is most preferable to all that idiocy in F/SN with Shirou being like “yo saber i know ur king arthur and all but ur a girl so i have to fight and protect you even though i am a squishy high school student with no combat training”. As well as all the vestiges of F/SN being originally an H-game being manifested as half the main female characters in F/SN being annoying clinging tsundere romance interests. But here? Bechdel test passed and then some. Saber/Ilyasviel > Shirou/Saber

Whoaoaoaoaoaoaoa caught in a rad bromance.

Cut to Kariya…and oh my. Looks like torture made Kariya somewhat crazy, as he does the maniacal laugh routine, noting with glee that as soon as Berzerker showed up everyone went all “Oh Crap”. Hey, Kariya, you do remember the part where Alexander the Great ran your Servant over with a chariot, right? Anyways, he’s so happy that he coughed up a pool of blood and worms. Gross. Oh Kariya, you’re totally going to go mad and die messily with only the thought of saving Sakura as your morality chain, aren’t you?

The blood is symbolic of the remnants of Kariya’s humainty, and the bloodsucking behavior of the worms represent the loss of humanity inflicted upon him by his family. In other news, symbol-hunting in literature is bullshit.

Inside the church, an Assassin shows holding  a dead familiar with…a camera attached to his leg? Kirei now knows that Kiritsugu knows that he’s still alive and in the game, although now that the familiar has died, Kiritsugu knows that Kirei knows that Kiritsugu knows, which means that Tohsaka also know…fuckin’ web of intrigues, mate.

Meanwhile, cut to Caster and Uryu, who have been watching the battle through the crystal ball. Apparently Caster now has an Edward/Bella thing towards Saber…except one look at the fair maiden with sword and plate leads him to conclude that she is his beloved soul mate, the Maid of Orleans, Joan of Arc.

About three things I am absolutely positive. First, Saber is my beloved Jeanne d’Arc. Second, there is part of her— and I didn’t know how potent that part might be — that will kill me for the Holy Grail. And third, I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with her.

Well, hilarity will certainly ensue once he finds out that she’s apparently gone and become an English ka-nig-it.

The awesome ramps up yet again with this episode, with all the new combatants getting respectable showings, and here we have an example of a Worf Barrage being done well instead of for artificial drama. We know from F/SN how utterly overpowered of a skill Gilgamesh’s Gate of Babylon is; dude killed Lancer in like one hit with it, and was owning Saber all over the place later. In this episode, we see how awesome Berzerker is for countering the Gate of Babylon by his own pure skill along with his ability to make anything he wields his own Noble Phantasm. But because this is still early-game, Gilgamesh isn’t going all out, so we don’t lose respect for his own power.

The other key takeaway is Rider’s obfuscating boisterousness. It’s easy to dismiss him as just a meathead looking for a good scrap, but here he demonstrates a good amount of strategic thinking as well. For example, Kiritsugu who we know to be the designated smart pragmatic thinks-outside-the-box guy assessed the situation and understood that in this case where Rider and Assassin are neutral, Archer has left the field, and it is Berzerker and Lancer against Saber, the key is to eliminate one of the masters. Since Berzerker’s Master isn’t there, Lancer is the only one. Meanwhile, Rider saw the same facts and came to the exact same conclusion, even if his methods (incap Berzerker and make it two-on-one against Lancer) was different from Kiritsugu’s (bullet to the brainpan squish). Rider here definitely retains Alexander the Great’s military acumen, only doing less than optimal things because he just wants too.

Momma didn’t raise no fool.

Until next ep.

Let’s Watch Fate Zero, Ep 4

Oh my. Bring on the epic.

This Lancer seems to fancy himself quite the ladies’ man. After some pleasantries, and Lancer being glad that both his opponents weren’t so smitten that they couldn’t fight him properly, they get right to it. There is a good use of division of labor on both teams’ part. Saber fights, Irisviel heals, Kiritsugu and Maiya finds the enemy Master and kills them, while Lancer’s Master hides while his Servant probes the enemy.

Hello ladies. Look at your man, now back to me.

Saber and Lancer test each other out, neither really gaining an advantage for a while. The fight is well-animated, with slow motion where it needs to be slow to show off technical expertise and fast motion when it needs to be fast to show off attack speed and power. Footwork is emphasized, and someone did their research on broadsword fighting, as I am recognizing a lot of what Saber is doing from the Liechtenauer manual from my local library and the wikipedia page on the German School of Broadsword Fencing. Granted, it’s German and not English, but the English school is rapier focused and the German school is pretty much the best source we have on how broadsword fighting rolls.

Vom Tag (left)

Zornhau (left)

Pflug (left)

Throughout the bout, they are nothing but polite and respectful to each other, and you really gain a sense of equal measures of honor and chivalry as well as a thirst of victory in their duel as they compliment each other’s technique while making repeated guesses at each other’s identity and cut each other’s hair. Saber gets first blood in, as she uses wind magic to make her sword invisible, thus making it difficult for Lancer to control distance, although the fact that she is using magic to hide her sword leads Lancer to narrow down her possible identity as belonging to the subset of heroes with a famous sword.

I once met a person who claimed she could guess a lot about someone by the contents of their wallet. So I handed her mine, which pretty much only had cash, student ID, and driver’s license. Her response? “You are a technocratic man of simple tastes and pleasures.” And I was like, “Well played, woman. Well played.” Sometimes you can tell a lot about someone based on what they hide or don’t show.

Yay smart people fighting smart!

Here I will take a detour to explain the Grail War and general strategy.

One Grail, seven mages, seven Servants. The Grail will only grant a wish once six Servants have been killed. To avoid your Servant being killed, it is also important to hide their identity so that they can’t be killed by whichever means they were killed in their own lifetime. Specifically, let’s say you summoned Sigurd the dragonslayer from Norse Mythology (you might know him better as Siefgried from Wagner’s Ring Cycle, from which the wonderfully epic “Ride of the Valkyries” song originates. You know, that song that goes dun da-na duuun duuuun dun da-na DUUUN DUUUUUN) as your Servant. Sigurd bathed in the blood of the dragon Fanfir, which made his body invulnerable, save for a spot on his shoulder that a stray leaf fell on and prevented the blood from covering it. Thus, if you know your enemy Servant is Sigurd because you recognized his sword to be Glamdring, you’d aim for that spot all the time. At best, you’ll kill him, and at worst, you’ll force him on the defensive. Thus Masters always refer to Servants by their class (Archer, Saber, Caster, etc) rather than their names, and Masters generally tend to avoid using their Servants’ Noble Phantasms – special powers/attacks/weapons that are intricately linked to a hero’s identity, such as Iskander’s Chariot of King Gordias, Arthur’s Excalibur, or Chu Chulainn’s Gae Bolg – unless either absolutely necessary or to end fights.

Servants are usually a lot stronger than mages, such that most mage attacks just annoy Servants at best (reasonable, as at least half of all myth heroes beat up evil magicians for a living, and when they are incarnated as Servants, they also a permabuff to magic resistance). Since Servants are so tough, the usual way of eliminating opponents is to catch the Master off guard and kill them with your own Servant (since presumably they can give you a good magic-fight, being a skilled mage themselves and all). This did not happen in F/SN because Shirou was an idealistic high school student who was raised under conventional human morals and so didn’t want to kill any humans (or at least, any people that were “supposed” to exist since it’s somewhat hard to argue that Servants who were historical figures like Iskander aren’t humans who just happen to have powers and that Servants who were mythological shouldn’t be treated as humans because they are still sentient…yeah Shirou’s morals aren’t exactly the most airtight). But Fate Zero is a different show.

Kiritsugu wants to end the battles as fast as possible, so he’s gunning (literally) for the Masters using his nice snazzy sniper rifle which has a magic-detecting scope in addition to the normal one. He’s looking around, but instead discover an Assassin here, watching the battle and confirming that the first battle was indeed a work. The two of them hold off on action, Kiritsugu noting that they are not equipped to fight Servants at this time.

Bringing a gun to a sword fight.

Hold on a second.

This line about not being prepared to fight Servants “at this time” indicates to me that he is at times prepared to actually fight Servants, which most mages don’t do because mages fighting Servants is generally an invitation to suicide.

And now I can’t wait to see what amounts of dakka is considered enough to fight Servants. Maybe a couple of B2 bombers, eh Rider?

Back to the battle. Suddenly, Lancer’s Master appears – or at least, his silhouette and voice does. He gives Lancer permission to use his Noble Phantasm, a bold move this early in the game and an indication that he has something up his sleeve.

duun dun dun DUN dun DUUUUUUN

Since Servants generally have one Noble Phantasm, Saber is curious as to which of Lancer’s two spears is it. Lancer drops his shorter yellow spear and blitzes at Saber, and upon the first blade clash, some kind of magical aura occurs, and Saber’s expression reveals that something went awry. More gorgeous fluid fight scene occurs, and now Saber is being pushed back. Moreover, her sword is now glowing gold upon every clash. After a few bouts, however, Saber believes she has Lancer’s measure, and goes into an exaggerated vom tag, deciding to take a hit on her magical armor which will put her in position to launch a kill blow.

Stabbed through the side, and you’re to blame/you give dueling a bad name

Someone’s cunning plan was not thought all the way through. Lancer, being the chivalrous sort, explains that his Noble Phantasm ignores magic. Since Servants are all made of magic, including their armor and non-muggle clothing, and Saber has armor, presumably Lancer judged that she would try to tank it and thus attacked accordingly.

Yay smart people fighting smart!

In reaction, Saber immediately dispels her armor to save mana.

Oh, are we playing this game? I’m up for that.

As Lancer backs away to regain distance and Irisviel heals, Saber gathers her energy and blitzes, dispelling the wind magic on her sword to give her a speed boost, intent on giving it her all this time. Lancer’s smug grin, however, indicates that things aren’t going to go in her favor, and sure enough, right as she reaches him, he kicks up the other spear that he dropped earlier and thrusts, inflicting a wound on Saber’s left wrist right as she inflicts the same wound on him. Another round of healing occurs…except Irisviel’s heal isn’t working? Turns out both spears are Lancer’s Noble Phantasms, and the second spear inflicts a cursed wound that will not heal. Apparently the first strike was to get her to dispel her magic armor so the second strike would launch a more debilitating injury.

Yay smart people fighting smart!

The two spears and their powers, however, is enough for Saber to recognize the weapons as Gae Buidhe and Gae Dearg, and this coupled with the love mark by his eye which makes her heart to go aflutter allows her to deduce Lancer’s identity as Diarmuid Ua Duibhne, first of the Fianna in the Fenian cycle of Irish myth. Meanwhile, having dispelled the wind magic around Saber’s sword, Lancer recognizes it to be Excalibur and thus Saber to be Arthur/Arturia, and is rather amused that the King of Knights is actually a girl.

Oh Ireland. Always a thorn in England’s side.

It must be said, though, that the genderflip is highly beneficial to Saber, just because every know that its King Arthur, not Queen Arturia. Anyway, Saber’s left tendon is shot, but she insists on continuing the duel, and the two square off, when suddenly there is the sound of thunder, and…a wild Rider appears! He rides between them on his chariot, and the very first thing he does?

“BEHOLD! I AM ISKANDER, KING OF CONQUERORS! GAZE UPON MY WORKS, YE MIGHTY, AND DESPAIR!”

Oh my.

Seriously. He literally interrupts a duel between two servants by getting between them (with Waver riding beside him, no less) and announcing to everyone in the immediate vicinity who his real identity is. Because that’s how he rolls. Rider don’t care, Rider don’t give a shit. And he’s just so…happy about it.

Rider…Never change.

I JUST HAD SEEEEEEEEX, AND IT FEEEEEEEL SO GOOOOOOOOOD

Thoughts for this episode:

YAY SMART PEOPLE FIGHTING SMART.

Here you see that both Lancer and his Master have high stats in INT and WIS, detectable from the way they’ve been controlling the flow of battle. First Lancer tests Saber out, probing for weaknesses and generally not finding any, as Saber has the highest overall stats while Lancer simply has the highest speed stat and low Noble Phantasm mana cost. However, knowing that Servants are by nature made of magic and that Lancer’s Gae Dearg ignores magic, Lancer’s master orders him to use “his Noble Phantasm” (also effective use of ambiguous phrasing to mislead both the audience and the characters as to what’s coming next), and Lancer is either smart enough to only use Gae Dearg and have Gae Buidhe in reserve, or his Master explicitly instructed him to do that at some point offscreen. Either way, it demonstrates a solid understanding of economy of force (use the smallest amount of force possible to win, that way you can keep all your cool toys in reserve in case the enemy catches a second wind), and it’s used to to great effect – twice Saber thinks she has Lancer’s measure, and twice it opens her up to a surprise counterattack by Lancer.

Saber, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to have that good a head for all this misdirection strategery. Maybe she’s just not that good at it, and in the Fate-verse, that’s why her kingdom ultimately fell? Perhaps this will be a plot point later? At least Team Saber has a decent build, with Saber as the tank to draw aggro, Irisviel as the healer to keep Saber in the game, and Kiritsugu and Maiya as the two rogues to backstab and be smart. Clearly teamwork between all four of them will be key in future battles here.

Here’s to more smart fighting.

Until next ep.

Let’s watch Fate Zero, Episode 3

We open in Tohsaka Mansion, Gilgamesh continues to be not impressed with the modern world, considering it ugly and boring.

Not. Impressive.

Iskander’s first conquest is…Waver’s apartment, as Master tries to interest Servant in the Grail War, but Servant is only interested in TV documentaries about modern warfare.

I will conquer you first, Supreme Warlord Premier Clinton.

Seriously. Rider is entralled with modern military technology and decides that Bill Clinton would make a worthy opponent to conquer. Just as expected from the man who, upon his untimely death, decided the heir to his empire should just be whichever of his generals was the strongest. Oh Iskander, so audacious. Never change.

Thankfully, this scene also averts a particular pet peeve trope of mine, that of a soldier/warrior from an earlier time coming to the modern day and finding our methods “dishonorable.” It is silly and has rarely if ever been true in the history of warfare. The funny thing is that we consider samurai and gun-aversion to be the ur-example of this trope, when in fact samurai used guns quite readily as soon as they were introduced. Miyamoto Musashi, widely acknowledged as the greatest Japanese swordsman in the world to ever exist, writes about gunners without any disdain in his Book of Five Rings. In the Imjin War between Ming Dynasty China and Hideyoshi’s Japan over suzerainty of Korea, many a Chinese officer fell due to Japanese musketeers using tanegashima matchlocks. The warlord Oda Nobunaga rose to prominence during the Sengoku/Warring States era after a battle in which his musketeer regiments literally broke the elite cavalry of the powerful rival Takeda clan. And in the Boshin War, the samurai rebellion during early Meiji Japan upon which the rebellion from The Last Samurai (starring Tom Cruise) is based, the rebels actually used relatively modern weaponry imported from Europe even if their status as rebels meant that they got fielded alongside more primitive weaponry. Summer knights and sunshine soldiers are concerned with “sporting” rules. Modern humans with a desire to romanticize history to escape their otherwise dreary lives attribute lofty ideals to those who lived in the past. Real warriors, when confronted with new weapons that let them be more effective at warring, don’t think “dishonorable weapon that is beneath me”, they think “I want one.”

As the ancient Japanese say, moar dakka > less dakka.

Anyway, Waver finally gets Rider’s attention away from TV, so Rider gives him a crash course in the art of war. Namely, of the importance of gathering intelligence; specifically, “did you notice anything odd about the Assassin-Archer fight last episode?”. And like any awesome teacher, the price for failing is PAIN in the form of a MAN-FLICK.

Say why. Say why one more time, I dare you.

Cut to the church. Kirei informs his superiors of his failure and request sanctuary for bowing out. And then…a wild Assassin appears? Turns out Assassin is some kind of hive mind with many bodies, and the previous battle was a work to make everyone else think Kirei and Assassin are out of the game. Well played, guy. Well played.

Nothing is true. Everything is permitted.

Irisviel and Saber arrive in Japan via airplane. Unlike Rider, Saber isn’t so enchanted with the marvels of modern tech, finding air travel boring. This being the 90s, when Walkmans were just barely a thing and we didn’t have these newfangled laptops and Kindles and iProducts, I’m rather inclined to believe her. We get a bit of funny wherein Saber notes that even though planes didn’t exist in her time, part of her powerset as the King of Knights is the ability to ride anything as long as she can mount it and grasp its reins (ohhhhh myyyyyyyy), so…she can probably fly a plane. Moving on, they were supposed to rendezvous with Kiritsugu, but since this is Irisviel’s first time outside the country, they decide to take a little detour and do some sightseeing first. What follows is a nice tender little moment between the two women, one bred with all the traditional feminine virtues upon whom the future fortunes of her clan rests, the other born with a woman’s body into a man’s role. And this scene is nice, because while Irisviel has a heavy burden placed upon her, she accepts it stoically instead of emo wangsting about it, and while Saber had a heavy burden placed upon her, she accepts it stoically instead of emo wangsting about it. As the lupine avatar of courage did say, “life’s a bitch – so make it yours.”

“It is a knight’s duty to escort his lady.” Bless your chivalrous heart, Saber.

Cut to Kiritsugu and his lady partner, Maiya. Team Saber’s plan seems to be to make others think that Irisviel is the Master and thus focus everyone else’s attention towards her so Kiritsugu can take out the opposing Master using enhanced muggle dueling techniques. Maiya’s come packing heat, including a rather spiffy looking sniper rifle and a big old pistol that looks like it was made for a dapper-dressed vampire or a genetically engineered super-soldier.

Enough dakka? Never. Could always use moar dakka.

And then…they kiss.

So was Maiya Kiritsugu’s true love? Or does he actually love Irisviel but will just indulge Maiya? Or was he Maiya’s one that got away? So many questions…

Looks like he’s…All In for the duration. Curse your cheating heart, Kiritsugu. (Oh I’m sorry, was that too soon?)

Anyway, cut to Irisviel and Saber at the beach. Irisviel loves it there, and asks Saber how she feels. Saber replies that she’s actually never liked the sea, because that’s where all the people who’ve tried to invade the British Isles came from. Which is kind of a downer, and you kind of see the effects of the pressures of kingship upon this young woman, but it doesn’t stop them from enjoying the moment.

What does stop it, though is a bad feeling that Saber has. And sure enough, a wild Lancer appears!

FIGHT ITEM PKMN RUN

Meanwhlie, Rider and Waver are also on the scene, observing from afar (aww, he’s giving Waver a hands-on lesson in reconnaissance. such a bro). Lancer’s Master is nowhere to be found, so Saber will fight while Irisviel buffs with healing magic…and then cut to end theme.

So, a couple of thoughts for this episode.

This is definitely a more cerebral series than Fate/Stay Night. As previously mentioned, most of the combatants here are adults with the exception of Waver, and he has Alexander the Great counseling him, and so we get to see everyone fighting smart instead of facepalming at idiot Shirou Emiya being all like “hey saber i know ur king arthur and can cut through a skyscraper and all but ur a girl and im a man so ill protect u while u fate/stay in the kitchen k?” In contrast, both Kirei and Kiritsugu demonstrate themselves to have a good understanding of the Art of War, especially the parts about all warfare is the art of deception. Lancer’s master does the same, hiding in the shadows ready to provide support while Lancer fights. Keep this up and this show could definitely be Fullmetal Alchemist or Game of Thrones quality.

Or DIEGO QUALITY!

I’ve touched on my love for the fact that Rider, instead of looking at the ways modern wars are fought and thinking “killing from afar is so dishonorable, not at all like the phalanx clashes and cavalry charges of the good old days,” is totally psyched about this new world of warfare that he has found. This leaves one last thing this episode left me with – feminism.

I consider myself a feminist. And to qualify that, I do not think a rejection of all things considered stereotypically feminine is beneficial to the cause of feminism, if we take the end goal to be true equality between the genders, where not only can one gender take on the same role as the other barring biological impossibilities (and the day m-preg becomes possible is the day I go running for the hills screaming) with no stigma, but staying within traditional gender roles also holds no stigma. It’s very easy to look at Irisviel and Saber and think that Saber is a strong female character because she fights things and isn’t that awesome while at the same time think Irisviel is a simpering sissy who exists solely for her husband (who’s totally snagging himself some tender loving on the side) and her family (bc women are supposed to give themselves for their family). I think that would be entirely wrong, at least for the interpretion of Irisviel. From what we know about her so far, she is the daughter of the Einzbern family, an ancient mage lineage who have fallen upon hard times, and so her marriage to Kiritsugu is supposed to be a bid to win the Holy Grail War and reverse her family’s fortunes. Now, let’s say she was a man. If a man falls in love with a woman and comes around to her ideals (like..John Smith from the Disney Pocahontas movie), while choosing to undertake a difficult task which has a high chance of him dying for the good of his family/country/people-not-himself (pretty much every single heroic tale ever. heck, that’s pretty much Kariya’s motivation right there), do we consider him a weak man? If not, then why consider Irisviel a weak woman? Yes, Irisviel is in many ways traditionally – even stereotypically – feminine, from her appearance to her personality to the way Saber treats her as a noble lady. And yet, push comes to shove, she’s fully willing and prepared to fight on the front lines with Saber, despite being a squishy mage in a battle between lightning bruiser magic knights. Add to consideration that Irisviel takes all her duties and responsibilities in stride, can it really be said that she is weak?

These women have more balls than YOU.

Steel beneath silk is a wonderful thing.

Until next ep.

Let’s Watch Fate Zero, Episode 2

We open with Rider who has busted his way out of a building. Waver is annoyed by this, asking why Rider can’t just materialize out. Turns out Rider needed to bring things back from the inside, and he can’t do that if he dematerializes. Accusations of being a thief are waved off by pointing out that thieves sneak around, whereas by taking what he wants and openly leaving, that makes Rider a conqueror. Turns out the stolen items are world atlases, and we find out Rider’s identity when he asks for where his former kingdom, Macedon and Persia, are, and laughing when he realizes all that territory that he fought so hard to acquire was actually such a small part of the world. Yup, Rider is Alexander the Great, referred to here as Iskander, the self-proclaimed King of Conquerors. Waver is somewhat fed up by all this getting sidetracked, and expresses his opinions, which starts the recurring gag of Rider flicking him in the forehead and knocking him on his ass whenever he gets too uppity/unmanly. Waver briefly debates using a Command Spell, but decides against it once Rider expresses that he doesn’t care about being granted a wish by the Grail, he just wants to conquer the world again. He does, however, get Rider to show us his Noble Phantasm, the ox-chariot of King Gordias.
Myth segue – Gordias was a poor Macedonian farmer who was driving his cart one day when he happened upon a prophecy that resulted in him becoming ruler of Phrygia. The cart was tied to oxen by means of a super-intricate knot, the Gordian knot (which we use today to mean an extremely difficult puzzle/conundrum). He proclaimed upon his ascension that whoever could unravel the knot would one day become “Master of All Asia”. Centuries later, a young Alexander happened across the knot that so many had failed to untie, drew his sword, and split it. Today we use the phrase “cut the Gordian knot” to mean solving a difficult problem in a highly unorthodox but effective way.

Anyways, Rider takes Waver and rides off into the night.

TRUCK YEAH!!!!!!!

Yup, easy to tell who wears the pants in this relationship.

Cut to Kiritsugu, playing with his daughter Ilya, while Irisviel and Saber look on. Apparently Saber and Kiritsugu had a falling out on philosophy, and she is surprised to see Kiritsugu show a tender side. As they play, more call forwards Ilya’s tsundere-ness appear. Seeing this, Saber expresses an admiration for their goals. The die is cast.

 

So Kawaii!

Meanwhile in Japan, the police are on the scene investigating a series of murders. Turns out it’s a crazy hedge mage, trying to use the old blood magic for some wholesome demon summoning. The family who lived in the house are all dead, save for the young son, bound and gagged. As the mage begins his spell, however, Command Spells appear on his hands, and out of the summoning circle pops a strange man with goldfish eyes. The mage introduces himself as Uryu Rinnosuke, and the strange man acknowledges him as his Master. Rinnosuke, believing he’d summoned the demon he was looking for, allows his new Servant of the Caster class dibs on the boy, but to his surprise Caster unties the kid and lets him go. Kid makes his way to the door. He opens it. The glow of outside is so warm and inviting.

 

Into the light…

Homestretch…

TROLLED.

In this day and age, we’re very used to our onscreen villains having at least some amount of sympathy, usually conveyed by making them noble demons who just want a challenge from the heroes of giving them some kind of standard, some kind of villainous act that they consider crossing the line. Even in real life, pedophiles and those who kill their mothers are often singled out by other prisoners for abuse. That’s why this scene works so well. It starts off like that – we know that every Servant is some kind of legendary figure, and so we assume at least some nobility on their part. We see him lurch ominously towards the kid, and think, “is he gonna do it?” We see him cut the kid free, and think that’s our subversion of the day.

And then we get hit with another subversion, as Caster lectures Uryu that when you keep making someone afraid, eventually they become numb to fear, but if you offer them that hope spot before snatching it away, the fear and despair from that is truly exquisite. And the screaming. Oh God, it just keeps going and going forever until you the audience is like “make it stop just make it stop.”

Well played, sir.

Uryu asks Caster his name (not being aware of the Grail War, Uryu presumably is unaware that usually Servants don’t like to make their identities known to strangers, as knowing their identity exposes their historical/mythological weaknesses). Caster, however, recognizes Uryu as his Master, and informs him of his identity as Bluebeard, aka Gille de Rais (Servants tell their Masters who they are so their Masters can plan adequately).

Here is another major difference between this series and Fate/Stay Night. In FSN, we never found out the identities of the Servants until way late. It was supposed to be a mid-season revelation that Saber was actually King Arthur. I spent a long time thinking Rider was Arachne myself. The only ones to be revealed off the bat were Berserker (Ilya reveals him to be Hercules because she was arrogant like that) and Lancer (his Noble Phantasm has a low mana cost, so he spams it all the time, and anyone familiar with Irish mythology knows the wielder of Gae Bolg, the Hound of Ulster, Cu Chulainn).

We close with Kirei giving an assignment to Assassin. Apparently, Caster was the last to be summoned, even though we’ve never seen Lancer yet, and now it’s time to begin the Grail War in earnest. Assassin’s first task is…Tokiomi Tohsaka. Wait, aren’t they allies? Or is Kirei trying to knock out an eventual enemy while his guard is down?

Feathers fall and PEOPLE DIE

Assassin makes his way to Tohsaka Manor and pulls some serious Assassin’s Creed dodging and ducking in between the moving magical barriers. Tohsaka magic is based on keeping spells inside gems and crystals, and we are treated to Assassin demonstrating the power of a Servant over a normal human mage, bobbing and weaving while destroying the crystals via flicking pebbles from his fingers. Soon he’s reached the main power gem, when a flying blade spears through his hand.

A gem in the hand is worth two in the -STAB

A wild Gilgamesh appears! With a barrage of legendary weapons via his Gate of Babylon Phantasm (the idea is that Gilgamesh, being the archetypical monomyth, is the font of inspiration of every single other myth story, he has access to every single Noble Phantasm to ever exist, and as an Archer class, he launches them at enemies), Assassin is reduced to a pile of meat.

Boom, headshot

You come at the King, you best not miss.

Not impressed

So…the stage is still getting set, although the last part started getting shit real, real quick. Right when our main characters have found resolve, someone’s fired the opening shot already. But that can’t possibly be the last of Kirei, he has to last all the way until F/SN, and I don’t think it would be due to hiding out the rest of the war without a Servant. Iskander is all kinds of awesome though. Totally my favorite Servant so far.

Until next ep.

Let’s Watch Fate Zero, Episode 1

There are two things you must know about me this year:

1. I have ragequit a terrible TV show (JJ Abrams’ Revolution) and found two others to replace it, Fate Zero and The Myth.
2. I will have no time at all for NaNoWriMo, which saddens me, because I still harbor delusions about one day becoming the next George R. R. Martin. WRITING IS COMING.

The obvious solution, then, is to take on the grand tradition of Mark Oshiro’s “Mark Does Stuff” and liveblogging my forays into these two shows. For if I can’t write, I may as well nitpick/squee. Given that I liked the source materials for both those shows, indications point to the latter as being more likely.

So, without further ado, Let’s Watch Fate Zero.

——————

Fate Zero, Episode 1: Summoning Ancient Heroes

Every sixty years, the Holy Grail (yes, that Holy Grail) calls forth seven mythological/historical heroes and assigns them to seven combat classes as Servants, to be summoned forth by seven mages so that they may battle each other for possession. When only one Servant remains, the Grail will appear and grant one wish. At this point, Servant and Master may clash due to differing wishes, but the conflict is usually solved simply enough by the three Command Spells that Masters may use to force their Servants to their will.

The series Fate/Stay Night dealt with the Fifth Holy Grail War, which was highly irregular due to having drawn a random high school boy into the mix of magic masters battling it out. Fate Zero, being a prequel, is about the previous war and how a battle of truly powerful mages is fought. The first episode introduces us to all the various players involved.

We open with Kiritsugu Emiya (adopted father of the main character from Fate/Stay Night) and his wife, Irisviel von Einzbern, celebrating the birth of their daughter, Ilya. They seem like quite a happy couple. It also makes the Ilya/Shirou tsundere romance arc in FSN juuuuuust a wee tad awkward. Kiritsugu worries Iri will die due to the war, but Iri says she believes in his ideals. Careful Kiritsugu, people die when they are killed.

OMG baby Ilya so kawaii!

We then switch to Kirei Kotomine, a priest in the Catholic Church, who has also been selected as a Master. The Church has arranged with the Tohsaka magical family to ally together. Since Kotomine appeared in Fate/Stay Night, we can assume this plan more or less remains intact despite whatever wrenches the other Masters throw in Kirei’s way. Go on, KK. In the words of a great man, show us your moves. Yes, Captain Falcon does too count as a great man.

If anyone does not love the Lord Jesus Christ, let them be accursed at His coming. God save you from your fate.

Kariya Matou of the Matou magical family visits his…sister-in-law? Friend? I dunno, but she’s a Tohsaka and the mother of Rin Tohsaka from FSN. Apparently Sakura (from FSN) and Rin were actually biological sisters, but Sakura was given away to the Matou family who lacked heirs of magical ability. Kariya goes home to call the old man out, in which we discover the with the exception of Kariya (man, that is three characters with “K” names already), Matous suck and need to die in a fire.

this is not a human. it is some kind of…xenos thing.

“On the fourth day, the screaming stopped.” srsly, who the fuck does that to a little girl?

Kariya is suitably horrified. Eh, you’re alright. The rest of your clan can srsly get killed by all the things, now.

Kariya makes a deal with Zouken Matou – he will fight for the Holy Grail, and upon his victory, they will release Sakura. To do this, he has to undergo the same ordeal with the worms as she does. It turns him from looking like the above…to this.

Kariya, you’re probably gonna die since we never heard anything from you in F/SN, but I will be sad to see you go.

Now we hop across the pond to a lovely little magical school in jolly old England (no, not that one). Waver Velvet has proposed a radical new theory, that with training, effort, critical thinking, and properly applied spell construction, anyone can become a great mage even if they are lacking in bloodline pedigree. Naturally, his jackass teacher tears down this theory, lecturing the class that bloodline will always be the deciding factor in magical prowess, a theory which is highly convenient because if you belong to an ancient line, then no matter how inept you might be at magic, if blood is all that matters then you’ll always have the important thing that no one else can get, right? Wait a minute…

Kayneth Archibald El-Melloi, asshole instructor…

OH MY GOD.

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT

WAVER/HERMIONE OTP FOREVER.

Anyway, being the cheeky little Gryffyndor, Waver steals the artifact meant for El-Melloi, hits up the library, hops on a plane away, finds a rural family, Confundus-charms a family into thinking he’s their son returned from studying abroad, and prepares to enter himself in the Grail War to show them all what he can do.

Now we get a series of contrast scenes, with Kirei and Kiritsugu gathering intel and analyzing each other. We learn that Kirei has summoned his Servant already, a shadow-man who can only be Assassin. Meanwhile, tiny!Rin Tohsaka demonstrates how much of a tsundere she can be, as she yells at Kirei that if her father dies – wait, but the only survivors from this war as shown in FSN was Kirei and the previous Archer. WTF IS GOING ON.

Tohsaka, Assassin, Kirei.

We also find out that Kiritsugu is known as the “mage-killer” because he uses guns and bombs and modern tech in conjunction with his magic, such that he’s really more of a mercenary/contract killer who just happens to also have magic. Kiritsugu worries that their plan to summon King Arthur as a Saber class won’t work so well, since surely Arthur’s knightly ways would contrast with his pragmatism. Irisviel reassures him that surely Arthur will be swayed to his ideals just as she was. Using the recovered scabbard of Excalibur, they begin the ritual, segueing in an epic scene where all the various Masters summon their servants.

Waver prepares a casting circle and calls forth…Rider. Kariya is told that since he is naturally weak at magic which debuffs the stats of any Servant he summons, they must add lines to the summoning incantation to mitigate this. Presumably, this means they’ve summoned Berzerker. Tohsaka is confident that the alliance of him and Kirei will win, as he’s summoned Gilgamesh as an Archer class.

Gilgamesh thinks this episode is highly formulaic, not impressive at all, and thinks the plot twists can start right about now.

And at Einzbern mansion, the smoke clears around Kiritsugu’s summoning circle and we discover that King Arthur… is actually Arturia Pendragon, Queen of the Britons.

Yes, I am suggesting that coconuts migrate. Deal with it.

Overall, this was a very well done episode. The focus on adult characters straight off the bat with the exception of Waver Velvet makes it clear that this is no Fate/Stay Night, which, again, featured many high school students in its cast. The major players are revealed, and it gives you enough of a glimpse into their motivations to kind of let you tell what kind of people they are while keeping you interested in how they will accomplish their goals. You get the idea that Tohsaka’s got some kind of grander scheme going, that Kirei’s just sort of aimlessly wandering and seeing where the road takes him, that Waver’s on a standard “make everyone recognize me” quest, that Kariya’s trying his best at a goal that he may not be able to finish for the hope of saving his niece. Most of all, you get this idea that Kiritsugu’s this guy who has a grand vision that will be good, and that he’s so dedicated to that vision that he doesn’t care if people think poorly of him for his methods to accomplish it. Much like the Operative from Serenity, he believes in achieving his utopia, even if it means there’s no place for him there, and that to me is something worth admiring.

Eagerly awaiting the next episode.